Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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