She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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