hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
