some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
