Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
