Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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