would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize