If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
COCAINE IS GR8
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
