i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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