omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
