Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
