At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize