So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
