Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
