Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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