Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize