You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Randomize
