I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
