I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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