its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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