dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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