You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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