Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's never too late to be topless.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
