no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
