He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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