The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
