You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
