fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
