It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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