I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm just crazy horny about you
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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