Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
