I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
