what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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