Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize
