All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
