she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize