I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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