I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
