yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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