the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
