Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
