His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize