a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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