So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
