meet me or not, i'm out of control
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
