I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I think your dad took our porno
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
