I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
