I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
