Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize