Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
