so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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