Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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