using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
