if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
