Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
