So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
