if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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