So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
