so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
