i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize