Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
