one two three fourrrrnication!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
