I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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