i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
