My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
