Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
