you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
