What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
