I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
