Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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