I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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