We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
