So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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