Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Porn is love you can see.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
