Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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